MELISSA THOEN, LCSW, CST, CSTS

With over 15 years of experience, I'm a seasoned therapist specializing in couples therapy, helping individuals and partners openly communicate about intimacy.

I became a sex therapist because I personally understand the myths and misconceptions that often surround intimacy, sex, and relationships. As the daughter of two immigrants, I grew up seeing how stigma around mental health and false assumptions about partnerships could impact lives. As a Latina therapist who believes deeply in social justice, I'm passionate about helping people find joy in sexual pleasure, embrace body positivity, build healthy attachments, and feel empowered to advocate for what they need. My passion for relational work began in graduate school, where I was immediately drawn to the profound impact our family-of-origin experiences have on our current relationships. After earning my Master of Social Work (MSW) from Columbia University, I pursued a post-graduate training certificate at the renowned Ackerman Institute for the Family. This specialized training honed my expertise in helping couples and individuals identify and disrupt problematic patterns, fostering growth and vitality in their connections.

Complementing my family therapy background, I also graduated from Hunter College and completed the prestigious Sexual Health Sex Therapy Certificate Program at the University of Michigan. This program, taught and supervised by leading experts in relationships and sexuality, further solidified my commitment, leading to my certification as an AASECT-certified Sex Therapist.

Outside of my practice, I'm an avid endurance athlete, having completed various Ironman triathlons, an ultra-marathon, and numerous marathons. My training in these events deeply informs my approach to life and therapy. The discipline of endurance sports has taught me patience, provided greater insight into the mind-body connection, and cultivated an openness to lean into discomfort to surpass challenges—principles I bring to my work with you.

I don't think words suffice for how amazing a therapist Melissa is. She has helped me overcome fears, insecurities and traumas. Taught me coping mechanisms for my anxiety that have allowed me to be the best version of myself. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for her. Forever grateful.
Melissa’s approach is authentic and dynamic, she continuously adjusts her methods to meet our needs as we grow as a couple. She has a natural balance of keeping it real and holding us both accountable in a loving and supportive way. My partner and I have been meeting with Melissa regularly for the past three years. We both agree: she has changed our lives and relationship in the best way possible.
Not only is Melissa’s guidance informed by the lens of our cultural histories and social dynamics (“isms”) we each experience, but she goes above and beyond our scheduled meetings, providing us with supplementary resources like relevant texts, documentaries and referrals for outside support. She also checks in with us individually and assigns us homework that works, equipping us with tools to manage situations that come up.
Melissa helped us identify the root cause of our issues and the recurring patterns in our interactions. She gave us tools to disrupt unproductive patterns that would emerge. In time, we have learned to move forward in our relationship with more reflection, understanding and care for one another. The work has been hard but so worth it. My partner and I cannot recommend Melissa enough.